I fucked up
I didn’t manage to publish yesterday’s blog post. I’ve got distracted, allowed for excuses to take over my intention, and I didn’t deliver towards my goal. I thought about publishing any kind of post very early the next day, during the night, but I would still know I’ve missed the mark. So I didn’t do it.
This is not really that big of a deal to be dramatic, but it resonates with the underlying principle — I’m always fucking up something (this is a rant, I’m aware).
A few months ago I arranged a Skype meeting with a Berlin-based agency I was in touch with regarding some potential freelance work. Even though I had it scheduled on my calendar, and woke up on time, I had a (too) comfy morning routine, forgot to check my schedule, and I just missed it. I was late for about 17 minutes and then followed up with an apology. The person on the other end ignored me, and rightly so.
More quick examples.
I’m continually trying to get rid of my destructive habits, and I regularly fail.
In my creative business, most of my quotes get rejected. And a lot of ideas too.
A good portion of my intimate relationships ends up being a failure as well.
But that’s how it goes. That’s the part of the process.
We all fuck up. We all make mistakes. We all fail.
We can do our best to learn the lessons provided. To use pain and reflection to gain progress. To remember that we are not our errors, we are not our roles, we are the journey.
It’s all a mistake… until it works, Seth Godin kindly reminds us: “The process isn’t to avoid the things that don’t work. Because that means avoiding the things that might not work… Instead, our job is to eagerly embrace the mistakes on the road to the impact that we seek”.
We must do our art — be that a business, a relationship, a creative pursuit, or more generally, the way we approach the world and ourselves.
I think David Deida put it wonderfully: “Art is the spontaneous making of beauty out of an ongoing mistake that is your life.”
So, I’m publishing two posts today, quite late. And I’m moving on. Doing my best.